youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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