What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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