I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
