Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you would pick up someone in the library
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
