suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
