Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
