how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
vagina is talking i cant
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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