I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
