Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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