Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
