is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize