so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
