Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
