she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My liver just had a heart attack.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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