It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
