I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
