pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
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I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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