Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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