Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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