I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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