I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
