could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you never un-have a 4some
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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