belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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