guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
