Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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