everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
