I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
