Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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