whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
