Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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