What did we do last night that was yellow?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
