So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
