No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
