Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
