Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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