quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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