Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
