I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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