hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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