can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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