Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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