I think I died a long time ago.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
