Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
