Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Randomize