Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
