I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
