how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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