if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
