Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
