Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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