I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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