i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
