I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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