just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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