I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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