You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
