Having a random hookup so left but love u
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize