what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.