How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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