This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
