You really coming over, don't trick.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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