you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
