I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
