if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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