from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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